I have been married to the same person for more than 35 years. I understand first-hand what a healthy, lasting and loving relationship is built upon.  For example, in addition to effective communication, which is essential for sharing information, and providing support to each other, couples must learn to solve problems together, avoid blaming, share tasks, negotiate, and increase positive experiences together.

Intimacy is a hallmark of a couples relationship, and can be affected by pressures of work, children, finances, health issues, and how closeness was expressed within families of origin of each of the partners when they were growing up.

Power -- who has it and who does not have it, also affects the quality of a relationship. Power struggles and power imbalances may emerge over who controls finances, who is in charge of decisions regarding child rearing, education or religious/spiritual upbringing.  Agreeing to decisions early in the relationship is important for establishing the “game plan”, but being able to effectively renegotiate those decisions later is key to preventing, halting, and changing an unwanted and unhealthy power balance.

How you cope with problems individually and together is also an important skill applied toward maintaining satisfaction and supporting a healthy relationship.  Most problems in relationships are solvable.  The initial challenge may be agreeing to the definition of the problem, then finding the right approach that each person accepts and works toward the solution. Once an approach and solution is mutually agreed upon, working together is key to accomplishing that goal.

 

Contact me to discuss your situation, what you are dealing with, and what you want from your relationship.  I look forward to speaking with you.